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Before my husband and I met, I worked on and off as a stripper through college, and then as a call girl on Craigslist for a brief stint when I was in grad school.
In 2007, I quit sex work for good to become an elementary school teacher.
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Aside from losing my career in dramatic fashion, dating was one of the toughest parts of being someone with sex work experience. They’re morally corrupt, or else so emotionally and even physically damaged by their experiences as to be undatable.That relationship taught me that “I don’t have a problem with what you used to do for money, just don’t ever talk about it” wasn’t good enough for me.When I started dating online, I knew I wanted to discuss my sex work past — and everything else — with anyone I got serious with.Whether you’re a dancer or an escort, a porn star or a cam girl, the same questions arise: how and when to tell the person you’re dating, and then, how to manage their reaction (they always have one). Regardless of occupation, not everybody wants a committed, monogamous relationship. Even before high school, when I met and started dating a man I nearly married, I knew I wanted the kind of “normal” family I’d never had growing up.My father, never very emotionally present to begin with, left our family just as soon as I turned 18 (I haven’t seen him since).
Relationships can be risky for anyone, but this is especially true for current and former sex workers.