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At 16, they’re starting to drive, they’re often getting money on their own, and they’re around people with drugs.
On the surface, they may seem much more independent and responsible, but often they are simply better able to put their parents off and hide what’s really going on with them.
Related content: Is It Time to Call the Police on Your Child?
There’s a thin line between enabling your kids and being supportive of them.
If you’re in constant conflict with an older child over everything from curfews (should they have one or shouldn’t they?
), to getting a job, to alcohol use, James Lehman offers advice on how to set reasonable limits and how to coach your child to responsibility and independence.
” Kids this age become much more adept at manipulating their parents by blaming them for being too rigid and strict: “I’m getting older now.
When they’re five, they’re climbing the monkey bars and you’re worried they’re going to break their arm.
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Related content: Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You with Behavior I think parents should have two levels of rules with their older children who are still living at home: (1) core household rules that reflect your values, structure, and moral authority; and (2) rules specifically for older children in the household. Also, no drugs and alcohol, especially if you’re underage. Certainly, young adults should get more responsibility and independence, but they have to earn it. Should kids be able to stay out all night because they’re over 18? If they’re living in your house, they have to let you know that they’re okay. Just establish the rule, write it down and explain to the child that he is over 18, and this is how we have to live with this issue.