Of black women dating white
The rest of us need to continue fighting for black female liberation. If we can turn that around and create a society that is equitable and just for black women, then we will truly see a rising tide that lifts all boats.
There are all these barriers, but the onus is not on them.
This is our existence and we are burdened with these realities as we live, and as we love.
White supremacy only gains its strength in opposition to defining itself as opposite of blackness and that goes back to when the first slaves were brought forcefully to America. When they were crying out, when they were yelling for their kids not to be put on slave ships, when they were crying out for them not to be sold into slavery, when they were crying out not to be lynched, when they were angry with masters, these are things that have been already in place from the beginning of time in order for whites to place themselves as superior to blacks, so it’s not that it’s suddenly popped up, it just gets re-transformed.
That perception is due to long-held myths and beliefs about black women, says Adeyinka-Skold, which have transformed into commonly-held ideologies.
Racism, she said, pervades every aspect of American life, including love.
You have all this rhetoric and these stereotypes that basically become ideology about blackness that follow us through time. When women in my study are telling me that people are saying that they’re too emasculating, they’re living out, they’re experiencing those tropes.
Re-framing black women’s dating patterns, in my opinion, honestly, is simply acknowledging and recognizing that racism is alive and well in America and permeates every fabric of human life, including finding and choosing romantic partners. If we continue to believe that romantic decisions and options lie outside of the consequences of racism or are not impacted by race and racism, then we have learned nothing from the mountain of scholarship that precedes my work and black people’s current lived experiences.
On the other hand, these platforms have become a way for black women to experience racism instantly.
In my study, black women came across profiles that both explicitly and implicitly excluded them as partners.
In my study, black women talked about how black men have told them outright they don’t date black women because they are emasculating, they are intimidating, that they aren’t easy to be with.