Internet dating sad stories
I accepted, and that’s where everything went wrong. The movie was one of those free movies-in-the-park, and it just so happened to be Spongebob Squarepants and the park was full of children. On top of that, he only packed a very small blanket and asked why I hadn’t brought a blanket for myself (um, because I thought we were going to a theater?For dinner, we went to Ikea for a platter of Swedish meatballs. ).• A guy said how great it was that I was a “mommy,” and when I explained that I was more a mom than a mommy, and a bit about my parenting philosophy about trying to make my then-young son more independent, he corrected me. “That’s the gift you got when you had your son.” Not only was he totally infantilizing me with his gross Ronny Reagan virgin-mother bullshit, and presuming to explain for me my place in the world (without having met me) but he wasn’t fucking listening.I am still baffled by it.• The date where the self-identified “artist” revealed her day job was working as a prison guard, and she spent much of our afternoon on a mumbled, paranoid rant about an anonymous “them” who were on the verge of their incipient take over of everything we hold dear. She ordered worth of lunch, which she wouldn’t touch because she was sure it was contaminated.• My date ‘encouraged’ me to share the 0 steak for two.It was delicious, but he proceeded to pick out every single piece of fat from his mouth and made a pile of it on the side of his plate.He then proceeded to sing, very loudly, his current endeavor in song writing.It was about killing unicorns (and no he was not being ironic). Captain Pretentious• Dude talked for several hours nonstop about his multi-discipline art project, which was based solely on an experience his father had 40 years ago.After some words of consolation from me about how fucked up that experience must have been, she told me she made it up, and every other story she had told me that night, because she likes making up stories.
While I am sure it was great for her, it was just not where I expected to be on a first date.• I can’t even begin to rehash the details, but the guy drove a Cougar as if it were a Ferrari, had a facial twitch that I’m pretty sure can be seen from space, had favorite hobbies along the lines of watching History channel documentaries, and disapproved of my eating of croutons in my salad.We ordered coffee, and decided to drink our coffees while strolling through the farmer’s market next door. He’d just stopped teaching so he could be a Ph D student (Philosophy) at another Ivy League University (Penn).We walked the length of the farmer’s market, and when we reached the end, he asked if I wanted to talk more. After an absolutely miserable conversation where he humblebragged about his university (he mocked shame when he told me he’d gone to Harvard), he then started to tell me about volunteering for Arthur Ashe and how inspiring that was.On the phone it had come up that he was a Redsox fan — I am a diehard Yankees fan.But I thought a little rivalry could be fun — I have a lot of Yankee fan friends who have married Redsox fans and they both have a sense of humor about it! My first words on our date were: ‘Pardon me, but are you pregnant?